The road of marriage can be delightfully all encompassing or downright frightening depending on the choices we make. We know that the marriage is more than a big party and a fancy honeymoon. After all the gifts are opened and the final “thank you” card is mailed, the work has begun.
A stable and happy marriage is always achieved through dedication and respect for each other, as it is a lifetime commitment. It’s very unfortunate that some ladies never change their youthful lifestyle once they get married, which may later result in misunderstandings in their marriages and even divorce. Below are some of the things a married lady should always avoid if she wants to make her marriage work;
1. Don’t Be Selfish
If you were used to flying solo for years and then got married, it can be a hard adjustment to put your spouse above your own needs. Humans are selfish, but this is not an excuse to refrain from honoring their needs. Signs to look out for in this area are a lack of sharing, a lack of compromise and even competing with your spouse to be the best (career and parenting). Selfishness could be spending more time with friends rather than spending time with your spouse. These behaviors could make the other person feel unwanted and unimportant. Look at tackling life as a team and start thinking about how things impact the both of you.
2. Avoid Too Much Alcohol
Alcoholism and excessive partying can cause misunderstanding between couples. An alcoholic partner cannot participate in raising a healthy family and this can extensively result in divorce. Your relationship with your partner will always be affected if you keep on with this habit. Dedicate your time to your family if you want your marriage to work.
3. Do Not Cheat
If there is infidelity in a marriage the trust has been broken. Coming back from this is difficult even with therapy. Before you reach this point communicate your wants and your desires to your spouse. Try to be honest about your problems and the reason there is stress in the marriage. Work your problems out before it gets to the point where you want to cheat.
4. Avoid Bad Company
There is a saying that goes, ‘show me your friends and I will tell you your character’. This also applies in marriage. Friends you mingle with will always dictate much of the things you do. Avoid friends who will always misguide you into doing things that can ruin your marriage. True friends should always encourage you and are always there for you in times of need.
5. Avoid Being Angry
If having a bad temper in your marriage is an issue, seek help. Anger is at the root of a bad temper. It breeds other negative behaviors such as violence that can impact all involved. Losing our temper is a part of life, but when it becomes chronic it will erode the marriage. It may be masked with sarcasm and teasing that borders on aggression. The signs can be more subtle as well.
Impatience, blaming everyone for your actions, becoming withdrawn and name calling are all components of anger. These unhealthy attributes may cause problems in your marriage and end it permanently if it is not eradicated. Replace your anger with compassion and forgiveness. Don’t be afraid to ask your spouse or family for help.
6. Avoid Lies
When lies are rampant in a relationship it will fail. If you are hiding important things from your spouse like money, where you go or being dishonest about any matter, it will cause friction when they find out. If they can’t trust you to be transparent about the small things–the big things could be disastrous. Lies can also be something we tell ourselves like “My happiness is more valuable than the marriage.” When we believe this kind of lie, we put our feelings above our spouse’s feelings and devalue their importance. Lies come in all forms so stay on guard and protect your marriage by being honest with yourself and your spouse.