My elder brother and I were the only children of our parents. He was the breadwinner of our family since our dad passed away decades ago. After the demise of our dad when I was barely 7 years old, my elder brother had to quit schooling to get a menial job so as to fend for the family. We were very close from childhood.
He was my mentor, hero and father. Even when I decided to quit schooling to assist the family, he talked me out of it. He wanted me to get the best education, no matter the circumstances we were facing at that time. Though the responsibilities were much for him alone, he never complained and everything I have become today, I owe it to him.
My elder brother got married but 10 years after, they were still unable to have children. This has caused them a lot of grief and it hurts me so much seeing the only brother that I have going through marital problem. The delay in his wife conceiving has brought ridicule upon his family and pressures mounting from his wife’s family were unbearable.
Despite all the problems he was passing through, he didn’t stop taking care of my education and our aged mother. Sometimes I wonder where he draw his strength from, even in the face of tough trials. That’s one of the reasons I so much reverence him. I have always prayed that God turn his sorrow to joy because of his goodness.
My brother and his wife had to relocate to South Africa because of their predicament, so as to stay away from the radar of family and friends taunting them and reminding them of their childless state. I felt his departure so badly because that was the very first time in my 28 years to be far apart from him but his reason was justifiable.
I graduated afterwards and went for my NYSC. My elder brother was proud of me and couldn’t hide his joy of seeing me become a graduate despite all odds. I was so grateful to him for his support. Whenever I remember about his sad state, it breaks my heart and I hate myself for not being able to repay his kindness.
Immediately after my service year, my elder brother called me and told me that he wanted to discuss something very important with me. I felt the seriousness and urgency in his voice. However, he wanted me to come to South Africa on a visit. I was clueless about what he wanted to discuss about that required me travelling abroad.
Preparations were made afterwards and I informed our mom about my intention to see my brother overseas but I left out the part of what necessitated it as instructed by my elder brother. All throughout the flight, I couldn’t help but wander about it. Well, he was everything to me and I was more willing to do anything for him.
I arrived at their destination and my brother picked me up at the airport. We drove to their apartment and I was given a warm welcome by the wife. It was really good to see them after a long while. We dined, chatted randomly and then went to sleep. It was in the stillness of the night that my elder brother woke me to discuss the issue.
He paused for some seconds due to the heaviness of his heart. I could see the pain in his eyes. I asked him what was wrong and confirmed to him that he could confide in me. Tears formed in his eyes as he opened up to me. What he asked of me was the hardest thing in life.
After talking about his predicament, he told me that he was infertile and would be unable to father a child. He told me that his wife has been through a lot because of him and that she stayed despite his infertility. Then he gave me the shock of my life. He begged me to have an affair with his wife and get her pregnant to save his marriage.
I couldn’t believe my ears. I declined his request immediately. How could I do such a thing? I have utmost respect for my brother and doing such is tantamount to disrespect. My elder brother kept on pleading in tears and told me it was a joint decision by him and his wife, that they agreed she rather bore a child that has our family bloodline than adopting one.
I couldn’t bear to see him crying in pain. I know it was a tough decision for them. I owe him everything I am today including my life. No sacrifice was too great to make for someone who gave up his education to ensure I become someone great in life. I pondered about it and reluctantly accepted his request. We agreed that after the deed was done, upon confirmation that she was pregnant, I can return to Nigeria.
As much as it saddens my heart, I did what he requested and weeks later, his wife confirmed that she was pregnant. She thanked me gracefully. We agreed to keep the secret between us and that I should deliberately tell our mom and his wife’s family that she was pregnant when I got there to clear all doubts. I did as I was instructed.
Ever since I returned to Nigeria, I couldn’t get that fateful night out of my head. The thoughts of my elder brother’s wife and the pregnancy kept running through my mind. I started developing feelings for my brother’s wife. I constantly had to silence that voice in my head.
Eight months later, the news of my brother wife giving birth to a baby girl reached us. We were so happy about it. Pictures of the pretty baby were sent to us and all of a sudden, my countenance changed. My feelings for his wife reignited, I realized I have given away my first offspring and I yearned for the baby girl.
I couldn’t bring myself to accept and go along with the plan. Demanding for the child means that the secret will be out and my brother and his wife would be put in total shame. I couldn’t put him in that spot after all he had done for me.
How can I let go of my feelings for his wife and the baby? I’m so confused right now. I need advice.
Please leave your advice in the comment below.